My 2 Left Feet and The Kamikaze Taxi Driver - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

Marketing Lesson 2 which follows on from the entry: “Bikini Models, 2 Left Feet and My Banana Hammock.

When the bikini show was over, Carla and I decided to meet at a bar a minutes walk from each others apartments. She had to duck home first, so I finished my beer then left the club and waited for a taxi.

I got in the taxi and gave the driver my address. He proceeded to the next corner, turns right and driving like a typical kamikaze taxi driver, plants the foot on the gas pedal.

I was looking out of my window, when he turned to me said – “where’s the light, I can’t see a green light?”

Now, I had a few beers in my belly when I realized the wanker was driving up a one way street at 40 miles an hour and we were seconds from having a major head on collision with an oncoming car.

I yelled at him and luckily for both of us, he was able to turn into a side alley and we avoided what could have been a fatal accident. That will be the last time I get into a taxi and don’t put my seat belt on. I mean, what is it about taxis which seem so invincible . . . it seems we don’t need to belt up?

Dumb isn’t it!

The taxi driver apologized for the close call and informed me he had only been in the city for 2 days.

I replied, “no shit Sherlock” and proceeded to give him a verbal spray which would have made the pope cringe.

Yes, the nerves were a little rattled, not enough to have the ‘brown crayon’ come out and draw but enough to know I needed a shooter – FAST!

He eventually dropped me off – in one piece, at my destination. Carla arrived soon after. We enjoyed a few cocktails and some great conversation. At 2.30am I said, let’s go downtown to a club, so we did.

The club we wanted to go into wasn’t letting anymore people in, so we went to another one and got in without any trouble. I’m not really into dance club music, I’m more a live ‘kick ass’ band type of guy. The DJ was playing music I was totally clueless about . . . about when Carla decides to go for a closer look.

She came back within a minute, grabbed my hand and to my shock, walks both of us onto the dance floor.

Now, I am a natural up on stage, speaking to a big crowd. When it comes to dancing, I hate it. I can count on 2 hands the  number of times I have hit the dance floor in my lifetime.

Even when Arthur Murray’s Dance Studio was a client plus the fact I also had another client who also owned a dance studio and they both offered me free dance lessons . . . I refused.

Many women have tried to drag me onto the dance floor and they failed, even if I was totally wasted – yes, my feet would become gripped to the floor like they had been super-glued, with one hand gripping the bar, the other on my beer.

Needless to say they got pissed off with me although on many occasion, I still got to do the ‘horizontal folk’ dance with them later.

Now, it’s not that I can’t dance – I can hold my without dancing like a fool who gets mistaken for a person having an epileptic fit while heading fro a drink.

Carla and I danced until the club closed and not that I will admit it to her, I enjoyed it, so SSSHHHH, this is our secret -OK?

WHY did I dance?

Dancing with Carla, a beautiful woman, it seemed natural. I didn’t fight it, I just did it.

No doubt you are asking yourself . . . “What’s the marketing lesson here?”

Good question.

One answer.

Carla succeeded to get me to do something which I haven’t done in over 4 years, do something I don’t like doing and do something which at least the last 50 women couldn’t achieve.

She took an absolute, not in this bloody lifetime . . . and I don’t care how beautiful you are, my ass isn’t shaking it like a polaroid picture on the dance floor to . . . me thinking I was ‘Trev Trevolta’ within 30 seconds. No, I won’t be getting cast as ‘Tony Manero’ for a remake of Saturday Night Fever!

With your own customers, you also need to understand what makes them tick, find out what’s keeping them awake at night, causing indigestion at lunch, insomnia at night and diarrohea in the morning . . . and THE number one, and THE only reason why they are saying ‘NO’ when it comes to investing in your products or services.

And then, doing what Carla did to me, turn their ‘NO’ into an emphatic ‘YES’ . . . eager to whip out their credit card or cash and invest in what ever you it is you are selling . . . at the price you choose.

YOU need to choose then use the correct words with your customers and when you do, you will turn a ‘NO’ into a ‘YES’ time and time again, increasing your sales and profits . . . instead of leaving money on the table.

When you want to sell your sizzle not your steak and have your customers dancing like the ToeCracker, go on over and claim my advertising bible:

“Dedicated to kicking your ass until you succeed.”


Trevor ‘ToeCracker’ Crook
PS. When your customers say ‘NO’ it generally boils down to one main reason and ONE only. When you know what the  true reason is, this puts YOU in a position of power and you can turn the no into a yes.

The very first time I used the techniques in my Advertising Bible, I turned a blatant ‘no’ into a $4,400 yes and within a short time later, the same client invested a bigger amount with me. Not too bloody and for a $47 investment.

Now it’s your turn.

PPS. ‘Cougar Bar Marketing – Marketing Lessons Discovered in a Cougar Bar, a Meat Market For Absolute Sin’. This will be the next marketing lesson and this one could just make your eyes curl!

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5 Responses to My 2 Left Feet and The Kamikaze Taxi Driver

  • Dan Klatt says:

    Thanks for the great story and marketing insight.

    When you say:

    > “No doubt you are asking yourself . . . “What’s the marketing lesson here?”

    …Actually, what I was asking myself was whether you were able to close the deal and do that horizontal dance you mentioned. :-) )


  • Jacqueline Wales says:

    I always love your stories

    I can see those pointy shoes of yours you wore at JV Alert making small circles on the floor!

    Best wishes

    • Rosilda says:

      Congrats on the publisher ccotant. That’s a great development. And I know what you mean about losing interest in some sites. I used to love my PR blog for example. But the target was supposed to be small business owners, and instead it attracted PR colleagues more. I get very tired of the nonsense and spin often found in that community. So I rebranded it as a social media blog. But again, it’s just not a blog I care about. I love the topic. I blog about it for clients still. But that blog just doesn’t feel right to be. So I retired it. I want to bring back the original NakedPR brand, but I haven’t decided what to do with it yet. I let blogs retire all the time. They might lose their appeal. They might not perform as well as I’d hoped. Whatever the reason, sometimes it’s best to just let them go.

  • Hey Dan, You will just have to keep guessing mate!

  • Hi Jacqueline, The shoes in DC have nothing on the chrome tips! Glad you like the stories. Did you still want any help with your sales letter?

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