Bikini Models, 2 Left Feet and My Banana Hammock - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

Here’s a part one of two true stories from last night.

Each one has a different marketing lesson for you to benefit from.


On Monday night I went out with my friend, an exotic, lovely lady with Columbian heritage, who I will call Carla. She is a smart businesswoman and also owns her own range of Brazilian cut bikinis.

Over dinner she invited me to attend a bikini fashion show which was on Thursday night as her bikini range was part of the show. Of course I said yes. After all, what red blooded male wouldn’t want to see 7 hot models strut their stuff in about 100 bikinis.

Even though it was suggested to attend in beach wear, I figured the hot babes in the club a well as the models would go into a sexual frenzy at the sight of the ToeCracker wearing his very own ‘brazilian cut’ banana hammock. Rather than cause a scene which would make ‘When Harry Met Sally’ look G Rated, I decided to leave the banana hammock at home.  I went smart casual although I did wear my chrome metal tipped, snake skin shoes.

They are so pointy, I doubt I will be allowed to wear them on a plane in the US as the gestapo (The Dept. of Homeland Security) will probably consider the ToeCracker and his shoes a dangerous weapon.

I arrived at the club where the bikini show was being held and was asked by the boofhead steroid swallowing security dude (think big muscles, balls the size of dried peas and no brains), if I was on the guest list and I said ‘YES’.

Upon checking I was told ‘no’, I wasn’t on the list. Being the numb nuts he was, he seemed rather please to tell me ‘no’ . . . so I mentioned Carla’s name and was allowed to go in which wiped the smart ass grin of his face.

I mentioned to the next bloke inside, who was also posing as security, that I still needed to pay the $25 to attend. He looked at me as though I was speaking Hebrew while on ‘crack’ and let me continue.

I could have prepaid $20 instead of $25 at the door, however I chose not to.

I walked inside, cash in hand, ready to part with it, yet no one asked for any money which I found a little odd. By the time the fashion show started, I am guessing there were at least 150-200 people inside, watching the models strut around in the bikinis.

I asked several people who I met at the bar throughout the night, if they paid, they all said ‘no’.

Clearly, the promoter of this event, left several thousand dollars on the table.

Too many times in business, people leave money on the table even though you have a willing person cash in hand, ready to give it to you yet due to stupidity, ignorance, HUA disease (Head up Ass) and just plain piss poor planning, you miss out and your prospect ends up giving it to your competitors.

You may thinking to yourself, “No, toecracker, I don’t ever leave money on the table”.

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, so I call bullshit. I know for absolute certainty you have left money on the table in the past and you will do so in the future.

To avoid doing this ever happening again, you need to have my advertising ‘bible’ in your marketing arsenal which has been tested on 19 million people, over 10 years, testing 105,000 words and phrases - with astounding success.

Go on over to:

“Dedicated to kicking your ass until you succeed.”


Trevor ‘ToeCracker’ Crook
PS. Would you like to turn an emphatic ‘NO’ into a $4,400 ‘yes’ like I did the very first time I used the advertising bible? Then, get your ass (before your competitors do) on over to:

PPS. Lesson two will be tomorrow about my 2 left feet and the kamikaze taxi driver who tried to kill me. Watch for it.

It will be titled:


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4 Responses to Bikini Models, 2 Left Feet and My Banana Hammock

  • Aaron Dwyer says:

    G’day Trevor, haven’t read one of your yarns for quite some time, so I was pleased that I did on this one. Yes I’ve left money on the table, and I’m sure do so every day with my mini sites. I consider visitors that come to your website and not take the action that you want them to (subscribe, download, comment, buy whatever) as leaving money on the table.

    Looking forward to your future fables.

    PS I need to start weaving in my stories more in my marketing, so that’s a lesson in and of itself.


  • You never disappoint me with your unique story telling copy. Thanks for not only being informative, but entertaining me as well. Cheers mate!

    P.S. – Banana hammock? LOL… you kill me, Trevor. ;0)

  • Thanks Stephen. Your thoughts are always appreciated!

  • G’Day Aaron, how are you mate? You should really go through and watch my Judgment Day DVD’s again. Hope all is well for you and your family. Get ready for another yarn today!

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