These 8 Bad Words Are Causing YOU Sales Suicide

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You should NEVER use these 8 bad words in your website sales copy, blog posts, articles, emails and any letters . . . unless on the rare occasion when you have no other choice as I have explained.

WHY?

Because these bad words are costing you sales – hence ‘Sales Suicide’!

With each word, I have given you examples and alternative uses with the correct word.

The first example uses the ‘BAD WORD’ in each case.

Bad Word 1: ‘Learn’

Learn implies you have to make an effort, you have to work and worse still, can give you nightmares of being back in 5th grade in school where your teacher cracked a ruler over your knuckles.

Instead of using ‘Learn’ say . . . ‘Discover’.

The whole worlds wants to discover.

After all why do you think the ‘discovery channel’ is so popular?

Example:

“Learn 12 Easy Ways to Get Your Date to Sleep With You On The First Date.”

OR

“Discover 12 Easy Ways to Get Your Date to Sleep With You on The First Date.”

Bad Word 2: ‘Tell’

No one likes to be told what to do unless you are a ‘submissive’ being dominated by your master. People are happy for you to ‘reveal’ to them though.

Don’t use ‘tell’ . . . use ‘reveal’.

Imagine if you tell your wife anything . . . she is likely to smack you around the left ear and get very upset. If you reveal something to her though, it’s a different story.

Example:

“I will tell you the truth when you sit down and become rational my love”

OR

” I will reveal the truth when you sit down and become rational my love”

Bad Word 3: ‘But’

But is so poorly used in sentences, is used too often and costs you sales.

Being a conjunction word (words which join other words), ‘but’ introduces a word or sentence which contrasts or contradicts your preceding sentence or statement and it’s also a negative.

So, after you have built up a positive aspect of your sentence and get the hopes up of your reader or prospect, when you then say . . . ‘but’ . . . you can deflate them, undo all the hard work you have done and lose them forever.

Instead of saying ‘but’ use . . . ‘however’.

Which means:,’nevertheless’,’ none the less’, ‘in spite of, even so’ etc. and allows you to tone down or adjust the tone of what you are saying without you risking a potential sale or a reader from your blog etc.

Generally, when you use but, you would pause, so use pause breaks when writing as you should write like you speak.

Pause breaks are the 3 little dots . . .

Example:

“Mommy told me not to smack my kid sister . . . but the little cow was annoying the hell out of me”

OR

“Mommy told me not to smack my kid sister . . . however the little cow was annoying the hell out of me”

This is a tongue in cheek example.

Bad Word 4: ‘Buy’

No, I am not on crack!

Sure you want people to buy your products and services . . . however they do not want to be blatantly sold to.

When you use the word ‘buy’ it means people must pay $$$.

Instead of saying ‘buy’ say . . . ‘claim’ or ‘invest’.or ‘reserve’.

People like to make an investment or to make a claim.

You can also use ‘reserve’ instead of buy.

When you make a hotel reservation, you know darn well you are paying for it and buying your night/s in the hotel room . . . you reserve your room.

You never ring up to ‘buy’ a room unless you go to one of those hotels which rent rooms by the hour!

Example:

“Click here now to buy your copy of the Persuasive Writing Sells Course”

OR

“Click here now to claim your copy of Persuasive Writing Sells Course”

OR

“Click here now to invest in your copy of Persuasive Writing Sells Course”

OR

“Click here now to reserve your copy of Persuasive Writing Sells Course”

Bad Word 5: ‘If’

There are times where saying ‘if’ is still appropriate.

Another conjunction word which is supposing or assuming and is generally used to introduce a condition or choice for your readers.

Instead of saying if, say . . . ‘when’.

‘When’ is a command word, has some NLP techniques and is more powerful, when used in the correct context.

Example:

“If you go to the store honey, can you get me a case of beer.”

OR

“When you go to the store honey can you get me a case of beer.”

“If you want to get more traffic, more conversions and more sales . . . this could be the most important letter you ever read.”

OR

“When you want to get more traffic, more conversions and more sales . . . this could be the most important letter you ever read.”

Bad Word 6: ‘Things’

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This word suggests you are clueless as to what you are really trying to say or sell. It’s also a generality when . . . where possible, you should be specific.

People use ‘things’ when they have nothing left to say or are just too bloody lazy.

Instead of saying ‘things’ you can use: tips, tricks . . . or techniques.

Example:

“Discover 5 things your competitor’s will never know”

OR

“Discover 5 tips your competitor’s will never know”

OR

“Discover 5 tricks your competitor’s will never know”

OR

“Discover 5 techniques your competitor’s will never know”

Seriously . . . the best place for ‘thing’ is in the Addam’s Family tv show where ‘it’ belongs! It was called thing because no one knew what the heck it was other than a hand!

Bad Word 7: ‘Stuff’

Just like the word ‘things’ . . . ‘stuff’ is used when people are clueless and have nothing else to say.

No one wants you to tell them some stuff. No, they want to know insider secrets.

Instead of saying ‘stuff’ say . . . ‘insider secrets’ or ‘secrets’.

When you know something and they don’t – then it’s an insider secret, NOT stuff!

Example:

“Discover the stuff dreams are made of”

OR

“Discover the insider secrets which dreams are made of”

OR

“Discover the 7 insider secrets which dreams are made of”

Yes, everyone loves a secrets.

I mean, have you ever heard anyone say . . . Pssst do you want to know stuff?

No, I didn’t think so!

You would have heard:

Psssst . . . do you want to know a secret?

Bad Word 8: ‘That’

Of all the 8 Bad words you should never say . . . ‘that’ sucks the most and is by far the most over used fluff and filler word ever.

I have witness people using ‘that’s 6-8 times in one paragraph alone.

‘That’ . . . is another conjunction word which connects clauses.

In most cases, you do not need ‘that’ in your message.

The biggest time ’that’ sucks is when it’s followed by ‘the’ . . . as in ‘that the’.

In these cases, you can remove ‘that’ as it’s not needed.

Don’t use ‘that . . . say ‘which’ or ‘this’ or delete ‘that’ altogether!

When ‘which’ doesn’t make your sentence flow . . . you can try changing that to ‘this’, as in some cases ‘this’ works perfectly.

Example:

“She told me that the movie was great to see.”

OR

“She told me the move was great to see”.

When you use ‘that’ as a pronoun . . . change ‘that’ to ‘which’.

Examples:

“What I want to share with you today are all the little tips and tricks I have compiled over the years that has allowed me to have the most lavish garden with a minimum of expense”.

OR

“What I want to share with you today are all the little tips and tricks I have compiled over the years which have allowed me to have the most lavish garden with a minimum of expense”.

NOTE:

When you can’t substitute that for which, then in 99.8% of cases, you can delete ‘that’ and your sentence will still flow and you have just tightened the words (edited your copy) within your message.

“Dedicated to Kicking YOUR Ass Until YOU Succeed!’

Warmly

Trevor ‘ToeCracker’ Crook
PS. You can also Watch the ‘8 Bad Words’ Video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-09D7Vi4XA

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15 Responses to These 8 Bad Words Are Causing YOU Sales Suicide

  • Darren says:

    Thanks Trevor

  • HAHA, great article that has a ring of humor to it! Great job.

  • Gabby Gomez says:

    Great advise. I will have to change my sales pitch.

  • Brian Reilly says:

    Wow looks like I need to do some revisions on my insider secrets . . .

    Great article.

  • Corrisa Malone says:

    Gotta love it! Great tips which are to the point and easily understood. Thanks Trevor!

    Corrisa Malone

  • Jeanne May says:

    Trevor these 8 words were amazing… I’m so conscious now of avoiding them as much as I can (still have a problem substituting “but” in a couple of instances!!) And each time I read a sales letter or blog post I cringe each time I see “that”! I’m so tempted to bring out the red marker and scribble all over the work to eliminate those words!

    Jeanne

  • Matt Ambrose says:

    Great advice. I’d always had my suspicions about ‘buy’, and ‘learn’ has now vanished from my vocabulary.

  • Good work here,
    Sometimes we get so involved and used to some old techniques we forgot it can be changed for better.
    Thanks for the post.
    Lucio Ribeiro

  • Mary says:

    Please invest in yourself and pick up a grammar text book. You have great ideas and terrific quick tips but people aren’t going to take you seriously when you commit grammar errors. Here’s how to use an apostrophe in a quick simple lesson:

    The apostrophe is used to 1) indicate contractions (“don’t” instead of “do not” or “it’s” for “it is”), and 2) to indicate possession (“Jane’s car” or “The deal that Mike’s team just closed”).

    The apostrophe is never used (except in obscure situations) to indicate the plural of a word, such as competitors. “Discover 5 tricks your competitor’s will never know” clearly violates the rules on how to use the apostrophe mark because it’s being used to indicate the plural of a noun.

    Yeah, I know – I’m being picky. But you have great ideas, and you deserve the opportunity to make them known to a wider audience. Write well, and people will appreciate and recommend. When you don’t, people just flip the idiot bit and ignore what you have to say.

    Good luck!

    • Leslie says:

      Interestingly enough, this was EXACTLY my first thought about the article! I, too, got hung up on the apostrophe situation. While the content is good, in order for it to be taken seriously by someone who is trying to “teach” useful tools when writing copy, blaring grammatical errors is a big no no.

      • Trevor Crook says:

        I don’t get caught up in being grammatically correct . . . I’ll leave that for the school teachers and others who get so anal on it. I have more writing projects than I can handle . . . so I guess my clients feel the same way.

  • aj says:

    very good tutorial. insightful and original.

  • AroJoy says:

    Dear Trevor,

    You have helped us ‘discover’ the ‘secrets’ and ‘techniques’, of writing, ‘which’ are very useful ‘tips’ for Bloggers.

    You have rightly ‘revealed’ the alternate good words ‘which’ are to be used instead of the eight bad words described.

    You have ‘reserved’ the ‘secrets’ of your successful blogging,

    ‘However’ we will remember you ‘when’ we write for blogging.

    Thanks
    AroJoy
    Infoworld

  • Spencer says:

    An awesome discovery of top notch information!

    One of my biggest pet peeve would be leaders (or supposed leaders) who choose to make, force, or tell someone what to do rather than asking them to discover a new and unique way of doing something all on their own. The secret to moving an individual in the direction you need them to go is having them discover the need to move and let you know they are moving.

    Thanks for the great article.

  • Wendy says:

    I’m a Sales Representative myself so I couldn’t resist the urge to comment.
    Overall I believe these eight words should not be used.
    For the use of “if” I on many occasions have started a sentence with “what if I could show you…”, or “what if I could help you..”. This form of “if” seems to work well. I would not use “if” in any other form, as I think it would decrease the other persons perception of my intelligence level.
    When I read the “that” example I thought it could have been used correctly, the grammar was incorrect. Example: “What I want to share with you today are all the little tips and tricks I have compiled over the years that has allowed me to have the most lavish garden with a minimum of expense”. Correction: “What I want to share with you today are all the little tips and tricks I have compiled over the years that have allowed me to have the most lavish garden with a minimum of expense”.
    Although “that” could have been used correctly, I would have to agree with the use of “which” as in my opinion it creates better flow to the sentence.
    Thanks for providing such helpful information Trevor.

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