Headlines Suck! . . . 12 Kick Ass Rules To Creating Headlines Which Sell

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Headlines Suck!

If your headline doesn’t stand out like a woman’s nipples who’s just won a wet t-shirt competition, your sales message or blog article will not get read.

Without a sizzling, persuasive headline or title on your website, your blog, your advert or sales letter . . . your sales will suck harder than a hooker on the strip in Vegas.

When you can grasp the only role of what your headline or blog title is supposed to do . . . you are on your way to increasing your readership, responses and sales.

People have increased responses by 300% by adding one single letter (See Example in Rule 8), an 800% by adding one single word, 1700% by testing 3 similar headlines and so on and so on.

80% of your eventual sales will be won or lost in your headline.

This is a follow on article to yesterday’s – ‘How To Write Kick Ass Headlines Which Hook Your Prospects By Their Throat’ which included 11 ways to discover your hook.

Writing a Kick Ass Headline is Easy When You Follow These 12 Easy Rules.

RULE #1:

Your headline must appeal to your readers self interest. Tune them into to everybody’s favorite radio station ‘W.I.I.F.M.’ which stands for – What’s In It For Me? Your headline must answer this critical question.

RULE #2:

Your headline must reach out to your prospect, grab them by the throat and shake them as though you are saying – “Hey, I’m talking to YOU!”

RULE #3:

Your headline must deliver a clear and understandable message. It doesn’t matter how good your product or service is, if your headline doesn’t stand out like a a women’s nipples in a wet t-shirt competition, your advert or sales message won’t get read, giving you poor sales.

RULE # 4:

If you have news, such as a new product, get that news into your headline in a big way. Example: “Announcing: – The New Bald Cure Guaranteed To Make Trevor Crook Look Like He’s Got A Full Crop Of Hair!”

RULE #5:

DO NOT be cute or clever. These types of headlines are a complete waste of money as they will NOT get read.

RULE # 6:

Include current news, events or well known celebrities into your headline as this can increase readership.


A public relations company, might run an advert:

“How To Get More Exposure For Your Business Than Janet Jackson At The Super Bowl”

Or . . .

“How To Get More Exposure For Your Business Than Janet Jackson’s Left Breast At The Super Bowl”

RULE #7:

Be specific in your headlines and not use generalities. For example, “Stops You Smoking In 3 Days” is a much better headline than “Stops Smoking Fast”. Specifics are believable.

RULE #8:

Always test at least 2 headlines against each other to see which one pulls best. This is what is called an A/B split test.

For example, let’s say you run an advert this week with headline ‘A’ and you get 7 responses. Next week you run the same body copy of your advert, but you use headline ‘B’ and you get 18 responses.

You have just increased your response by 257%.

Ask yourself this question:

“Did it cost anymore to test the headline that increased your response/sales by a whopping 257%?”

NO it didn’t. Your advertising costs the same whether it pulls zero sales, 1 sale, 100 sales or more. Why? Because you are simply buying advertising space and it’s up to you to make it pull like crazy, otherwise your money making abilities will be handicapped.

People have increased their responses by 1700% or more – just by testing headlines!

Putting your business name or your frilly, fancy cutesy, non compelling logo at the top of your advert is a complete waste of your advertising dollar.

Advert ‘A’

Put Romance In Your Life
Call Don Juan Now On
1800 666 999

Advert ‘B’

Puts Romance In Your Life
Call Don Juan Now On
1800 666 999

Advert ‘A’ pulled a 300% more response by adding an ‘S’

Can you see the difference? By adding One Single Letter to the Headline changed the headline into a benefit as it implies something is done for you.

The true advert was for guitar lessons with the following headline. Put Music In Your Life which then was tested as Puts Music In Your Life.

I used ‘romance’ here. Now romance appeal to women. If you were targeting men, you would use:

“Puts Sex in Your Life” as the headline. which I am sure would pull. No pun intended.

Other words that you can add an ‘S’ and change the headline into a benefit are:

Make to Makes
Give to Gives
Stop to Stops
Keep to Keeps
Rake to Rakes
Control to Controls
Take to Takes
Create to Creates

RULE # 9:

Use Upper & Lower Case letters for your headlines. This is much easier to read than all CAPITALS.

RULE # 10:

Use “quotation marks” around headlines as they have been long proven to increase readership.

RULE # 11:

Write at least 50 headlines by hand. Don’t be lazy and don’t do them on your computer or laptop as you won’t learn too much this way. Most people only write one or two because they assume they know what their prospects want. This is dangerous assumption to make. Do 150 to 200 for best results.

RULE #12:

The Single most critical job of your headline is to:

Get Your Next Sentence Read!

Nothing more. The next sentence’s job is to get the next sentence read and so on. If you have 153 sentences in your sales letter, the job of your copy is to get each sentence read. If you bore your prospects or readers for even one second, you will lose them.

Particularly on your website as it’s so easy for them to click off and NEVER return.

The next article will cover the 8 Headline types and my 9 point checklist for evaluating your headlines once you have written them.

Dedicated to kicking your ass until you succeed!


Trevor ‘ToeCracker’ Crook
PS. In the next article, I will show you the 3 similar adverts which cost the same amount of $$ to run, yet one pull a whopping 1700% increase in response.

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