“Real Esate Agent Eats Humble Pie Over Advertising”

Here is Part One followed by Part two . . . They were emailed to my list.

Last weekend, a friend and I met with a real estate agent with a view to listing her unit for sale. The agent got the listing and was told we would approve all advertising, not letting on I am a copywriter. The agent said we could make changes, but she doesn’t give her client’s the end say in what the advert eventually says. 2 nights ago, the advert was emailed through and it was the usual boring crap which real estate agents do. It said nothing of interest, or do anything to grab a potential buyer by the throat and demand an inspection.

Enter the ‘Toe Cracker’.

I pretty much changed every word and did quite a few drafts, changing one word here and there, until I was happy with it.

I emailed it off, with the agent still oblivious as to what I do and knew she would phone my friend and give more excuses than a 3 year old who’s been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, as to why it wouldn’t work.

It didn’t take long the next morning for the agent to phone. She expressed her concerns about what I had written, making it clear my version wasn’t what they do and was emphatic my advert would fail.

After some discussion the agent reluctantly agreed to run it and then she said – ‘If it doesn’t pull any inquiries, they would change it to their style of advert.

My friend didn’t pull any punches and told the agent to let me do what I do best and for the agent to do her job and sell the unit for the maximum price.


Just 7 hours later, they had 11 people call and 5 people are booked in for an inspection today.

Hey . . . what would I know anyway compared to a f.i.g.j.a.m. real estate agent?

My copy is working, the interesting part will be if the agent can perform or whether she is full of more hot air than a hot air balloon.

I will be checking other adverts for the agent and if they have knocked off even one word which is copyright to me – they will have nightmares for years to come after I finish with them.

So what’s the point of this story.

Simple answer.

It’s the power of the written word. Persuasive words sell.
I took something, used the exact amount of space and turned it into a kick-ass piece of copy.

I want you to be able to do the same.

Remember my reprinted article about the university study which proves that you only have 1/20th of a second online, before people click off and go to someone else’s website.

Offline, you have 7 to 10 seconds. Be smart, if you haven’t done so already, get your hands on my 10 hour copywriting blueprint teleseminar for just $97, including the CD’s when it’s over.

It was a 72 hour deal and there are only 48 hours left.

Go on over to: http://www.TrevorCrookLive.com/teleseminar.htm

Otherwise, get my Judgment Day DVDs, and start kicking some serious butt with your copy before your competitors bury you. With 8 easy payments on offer, you’ll make your investment back many times over, before you have paid for it. http://www.TrevorCrookLive.com/jd.htm


Judging by the response to my earlier email from my customers, I though I had better let you see the before and after adverts plus give you an update.

Firstly, my advert had 184 viewings in less than 24 hours, 11 emails, 5 inspections booked and . . . in the time it took me to email you earlier, my friend’s unit sold for her asking price. Also, another agent had it for 6 months in early 2005 with an even crappier advert and they didn’t even get one single offer.

To her agents credit, she wasn’t full of hot air and did her job (I can swallow my words) which means several things – people should stick to things they are actually capable of and leave the other stuff to the professionals within that field.

Would you get a butcher to perform brain surgery or Bill Clinton to address a dry cleaning convention on how to remove sticky stains from a dress?

NO – I didn’t think so.

When you try and be a ‘jack of all trades’ and a ‘master of none’ – you will get bitten on your butt. You should never put your fantasies ahead of your capabilities.


Remember, I only had a limited space, no more than the agent had. I just made superior use of it.

The Agents:

Headline: Larger than Life

Body Copy:

Space is what this 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom unit is all about. With two large built in bedrooms and a study/sunroom. Plus a huge dining area there is definitely room to move. This air-conditioned unit in ‘Blah Blah’ is ready for you to move in. Body Corporate’s are low. The unit is situated in a very handy location, just a short stroll to ‘Blah Blah’
village and ‘Blah Blah’ train station. At only $000,000 you had better be quick!

Trevor ‘Toe Cracker’ Crooks:

Headline: “Big Enough To Swing An Elephant”

Who else wants a HUGE 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, air-conditioned unit that makes most other units feel like a dolls house? If you have ever wanted two large bedrooms with massive built-ins, a study/sunroom, a big dining area and a MASSIVE kitchen with more cupboard space than you could ever imagine . . . then look no further.

This 1st floor BLAH BLAH unit is ready for you to move in, located in a QUIET and handy position. Walk to Centro.
Low Body Corp. At $000,000 . . . be quick!

It was the headline which hooked them. Firstly, most 2 bedroom units are very small and a common phrase used for a small bedroom or place is – “you couldn’t even swing a cat in here”. This place, being huge, I used “Big Enough to swing an Elephant” as this conjures up a vivid picture in your mind as opposed to the limp – ‘Larger Than Life’ headline used by the agent.

Notice I painted the picture  . . . doing an apples to oranges comparision between her unit and all others being the size of a dolls house. The job of this advert, like any advert was to hook a prospect, this time a potential buyer into wanting an inspection.

There’s another valid point which you should take note of which is . . . the job of my advert. It was a lead generator to get an inspection booked in. YOU have to know exactly what it is you want your advertising to do. I know, you will say it’s to get a sale.

Wrong answer!!

Ultimately this is what you want. Unless you know the correct steps which lead to your sale, you are leaving too much
money on the table. This advert, was online and competing with all other units for sale in the area which means it had to stand out.

I also looked at all of the other adverts headlines. They were typical lame B.S. which proved yet again advertising
suicide is killing at least 98.7% of people in business.

YOU need to get one think planted firmly between your ears;Your advertising, in any marketing medium, either online or offline and I don’t give a stuff where you do it, what country you live in or market in, what language you speak or anything else for that matter – it will cost you the same whether you pull zero, one, 100 or 1,000 sales.

I want you to read the above statement again then write it out by hand and put in up in your office. That way you
will absorb the message.

NOTE: The words I used in the advert are copyright to me persoanlly and you are not authorized to plagurize my work. Anyone caught doing so will face legal action.

Kick butt – create sizzling sales copy.


Trevor ‘Toe Cracker’ Crook
Tune in for tomorrows story of how I increased a customers conversion by 533% within 24 hours.

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